As a fun holiday break from our typical posts, we'd like to share our own rendition of a classic holiday favorite, courtesy of our resident poet laureate, Bill Hager.
Wishing you all Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year!
Your EZMarketing Team
How the Grinch Stole Business
Every Who down in Whoville liked business a lot …
But the Grinch who lived just north of Whoville did not.
The Grinch hated profits and the good they would bring
To each client and friend, and for every good thing.
From a business perspective one might simply say
That his head wasn’t screwed on in quite the right way.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his fortune was incredibly small.
(In fact, he may not have had a fortune at all.)
He stood there at year’s end with a sour, Grinchy frown,
Feeling angry and jealous and rather run down.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville below,
Was busy counting their piles and boxes of dough.
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop profits from coming!”
For next year, he knew, all the Who business Whos
Would wake bright and early with the very best news.
They would feast, they would toast
There’d be dance, glee and rappin’
With the marketing Whos at EZ
Who helped make it happen.
EZMarketing pros had been busy in meetings
Writing marketing slogans with really cool greetings.
With great content and graphics, they built a great plan
To brings even more profits to Whos in the land.
Causing Who clients to do something the he liked least of all
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with cash registers ringing.
They’d stand hand in hand and the Whos would start singing!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who Profit Singing,
The more that he thought, “I must stop this whole thing –ing.
Why for twelve lousy months I’ve put up with it now!
I MUST stop this from coming but how, how, how, HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Brand X marketing coat.
And he chuckled and chuckled, “What a great Grinchy trick!”
I’ll pitch marketing ideas that will make companies sick!
Offering content-poor websites with laughable graphics
Postcards and Facebook without demographics!
So with old worn-out tactics and bad content to boot
He snuck into Whoville – that sly old galoot!
The fake market consultant made fake claim upon claim
To destroy each Who business and every good name.
And they bought what he said, or so he had thought
But they saw through his scheme, so they did what they aught.
They stayed true to the values and strategies proven
By their old trusted friends at EZSolution.
But the Grinch thought he had conned them, that silly old rat!
But a five-year-old Who can do better than that!
He returned to his lair filled with pride and delight
For the mess that he made in just one single night.
“And I know what will happen. I know just what they’ll do.
On the first of the year they will all cry Boo Hoo!”
“That’s a noise,” ginned the Grinch, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused and the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising from way down below.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it was merry. Very!
He stared down at Whoville. The Grinch popped his eyes.
Then he shook. What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was counting their profits and treasures for all!
He hadn’t stopped good times from coming. They came!
Somehow or another, they came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
He puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.
Maybe trust is the thing that makes marketing shine
Maybe trust can’t be bought just going on line.
And what happened then? Well … in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch’s small brain grew three sizes that day.
And the minute his head wasn’t so teeny weeny
He shouted out loud, “I don’t feel like a meanie!
He became the best friend to every Who business
To good marketing plans he was their best witness,
To the success they had seen with their business each day
Here’s to EZMarketing for showing the way!
He rushed down below to join in the day
As the Whos yelled together, “Hip, hip Who-ray!”
And they feasted and partied – not a care to suppress,
And the Grinch, he himself, toasted to their success!
